My 2009 resolution... well... dubbing it 'The Year of Living Dangerously'... more excitement... higher risks. On the agenda... West Africa, maybe still the Congo... that might do it...

Was in a parade the other day! Seriously! Was in it!

There were loads of activities going on for the Islamic New Year celebration - the donkey, sailing & swimming races & singing & Koran reading on New Year's Eve & then on New Year's Day... a group of small boys from the local madras (Islamic school) started assembling in front of my hotel. They had these cute little flags... well, I love little flags, so ran down to get one & ended up singing, dancing & waving the little flag as we paraded thru the town!

When we made it to the town square where everyone was gathered, finally got embarrassed & ducked into the crowd. But not before enough people saw me that now when I walk thru town people say "I saw you..."

Today is the Islamic New Year's Eve & what a better why to celebrate than with.... DONKEY RACES!!

On your marks...get set...

GO!

The WINNER!!! By landslide!!!

Today is my 6th Xmas (2nd consecutive) outside the US. And couldn't be happier.

Love the 'idea' of Christmas... family, excitement of little kids & general peace on earth & good will toward men... but hate what America's done to the day. Families drinking all day in order to tolerate each other... or decompress from weeks of sportsmen like shopping... or the financial pain from gotta outdo last year's presents. It's even too much for the kids... a few years ago watched a 2yr old walk away from the tree saying "No more!" after opening just a third of her gifts. Even her brother & sisters received so many presents that many were never opened & rewrapped for birthdays.

This Xmas has been pretty perfect... Xmas eve beach party 'till dawn, a lazy Xmas day & later... a sunset sail & lobster dinner. Feeling like one of the luckiest Americans right now :)

The top news story in Uganda a few days ago: "Free Circumcisions For All In 2009!" I still can't stop laughing! Thought I'd share it with you all. But perhaps you're in need of such a procedure... in which case maybe next year's a good time to visit Uganda...

Was really impressed with the availability of wifi (wireless internet for laptops) throughout Asia & the Middle East. Even had a few hotels with free wifi! Almost never have a TV... the internet's my link to friends & family, the news & my source of info for my next destination.

But Africa... well, it's a big struggle. Wifi was basically non-existent in Ethiopia... and Kenya, think I'm just unlucky... everywhere gets rid of it just after I find it.

First... there's only 1 place in Nairobi's city center. Take that back, there's only 1 place that's free... coulda logged on at the Hilton or Intercontinental for $14/hr! Finally found a few places 30mins outside out town in the rich suburbs.

Now I'm on this island & was excited to find that the hotel adjacent to mine offers wifi for $4/day... but was really excited to find that they don't change their password! So all I have to do is sit on the roof or hold my computer out my window & I'm got free internet. Just have to remember to dust the sand off the keyboard when I'm done.

But speed's still an issue. Haven't found a place with fast enough connection to update software or use Skype. Took 3wks to download an episode of Grey's Anatomy! (But it was worth it!)

Thought access to technology was supposed to be increasing not decreasing!

Being in an Islamic area was keen to dust off my Arabic. In an area where tourists might know a few Swahili words, instantly impressed my audience with Arabic. Showing off more, threw in that I'd fasted during Ramadan. (Ok, not the traditional no food or drink during daylight... skipped lunch every day but that's a fast in my dictionary.)

Next thing I know, I'm at this family's house being served lunch & with an even larger serving of 'we wanna convert you'. Two hours later... full from the bad food & even worse dogma, tried to make my escape. But the husband, a jeweler & very clever man... mentioned that he offers fantastic prices to fellow Muslims. Freedom & cheap jewelry verses Jesus... almost instantly spit out "You're right! There is no God but Allah & Mohamed is his prophet."

Today, after he repairs a necklace for free, we're off to visit his sister-in-law's beauty salon for a great price on a manicure & pedicure. Plus, he's gotta connection on a saling trip & a tailor. Christians... Jews... Buddhists... anyone wanna counter? Offering my eternal soul to the highest bidder!

Kenya celebrated it's Independence (Jambhuri) Day today & went to a big celebration. Amazingly, it was only 45 years ago they finally got rid of England. Couldn't convince my English friend to come, she's had one too many Kenyans tell her that her father killed their father. But since my people fought to be free of the British too, figured I'd be safe. Besides, the President would speak, there'd be tribal dances & an air show... basically a big, free party... had to go!

Get there & I'm 1 of 3 white people in a stadium of 40,000 people. It was fun but the sun was blaring, too many boys staring & half of it wasn't in English. So after 5hrs decided to leave. Then found out why there was 40,000 people... once you got in, they wouldn't let people leave until the President spoke. Good way to make sure he had a packed house... lock 'em all in!

But as a white Westerner, usually local rules don't apply. Rarely try for extra special treatment, just wannbe treated like I would in my own country. Which includes not being forcibly retained in a stadium. There's a number of approaches that work...

The first approach is to flirt. But could tell right away this was too uptight so began with the basic indignant rich Westerner approach. Not quite sure why it works... maybe they think I'm someone important or that I have important connections. It's all about a snooty, firm but still kind attitude. So when they told me they didn't have keys to open the gate, said ok, who does? Next gate... ok... went there.

Same deal. Then tried the rational approach. No keys, okay, I'll climb the gate. (Yeah, maybe this is more the crazy person approach.) Was told they couldn't let me do this. Next, scare them approach... let me speak to your boss. But he's at the next gate... what's his name & what's yours. Typical, the policeman wouldn't tell me his name! It's really tricky but at this point you can try to take their picture. Didn't do this & it can go horribly wrong, but if it works, it's brilliant.

My final approach is usually to cry. The crying white woman just breaks 'em. But while pushing my way to the last gate saw an ambulance & decided to try a medical approach... told them my heart medicine I had to take was outside. Sensing they were breaking, added "President Obama is going to be furious if I die because you wouldn't let me thru this gate!" Without a word they made a sliver sized opening in the gate so the crowd about to stampede couldn't get thru & one of the officers literally pulled me out!

Now got two new approaches... Obama & death... fantastic!

Had an eye infection & lost part of my eyesight. Scary shit. But was told once the infection cleared, the sight would come back. But the doc lied. Then he said it was cataracts but wouldn't rule out glaucoma or... a brain tumor!

Time for a 2nd opinion or to forget it & admit the priest was right, masturbation really does cause blindness :)

Decided to find a better doctor. Found one educated & licensed in England & was sent for more tests. Then he saw the results & it was time to panic... he thought it was a tumor! Was immediately sent to the hospital for a brain scan!

(No jokes, I've seen it, I really do have a brain & it's pretty big too!)

Thank god, they didn't find a tumor but the few hours waiting for the results were pure hell... killed that time downing several drinks!

But the bad news, he finally decided it's a hard to detect form of glaucoma. Won't get the lost sight back but with eye drops it won't get worse. Hell, it's way better than a tumor & on the bright side, might be able to legally smoke cannabis!

Funny, this morning asked if I could join a random white woman for breakfast & when she looked up, realized it was a Brit I'd met 6 months ago in Jordan!

Don't actually remember a single sink with an attached counter. Remember, gotta low budget... try not spend more than $10 on a room.

But have seen some funky sinks!

• Ones attached to the wall but with no base -- so the water drains on your feet. There's a lot of these out there!
• Or sinks with industrial faucets that hang past the sink so water goes on you then the floor.
• A cute place had the sink on the balcony. Got to wave at the neighbors while brushing my teeth.
• And more than a few places had no sink at all. Just a tap & bucket to both flush the toilet & shower with.

Started using sinks for other things too... some places have a sink in the room & toilet was down the hall. So if in the middle of the night I need to pee....

What I can piece together, a rumor got started in Tanzania that EATING A HUMAN albino will make a person rich. Sad! Not to mention disgusting! And the rumor's spread to other countries. Everyday now there's a new story of an albino murdered for the local witchdoctor’s stew.

And of course, no one's getting rich except the human hunters & witchdoctors.