The plan was to float downstream & before dark find a fisherman to tow us back. The hotel owners said we were crazy. The air mattress guy is definitely crazy... so the other girl & I agreed to think they were referring to him.

Then we saw the little boat... & it was little... really little. So little, when the 3 of us sat in it, only 2" of the boat was above water.

And the little boat had no oars. So the crazy guy got his machete (because if you're crazy, you own a machete right?...) & sliced some bamboo in half & made us oars. You're supposed to take a long pole & push it into the bottom of the river... but since the plan was to keep going after the little part of the river that the hotel sits on turns into the really BIG river... the pole in the bottom wouldn't work.

The whole day was a complete riot! First, we had to walk thru mud about thigh deep to get into the boat...& since the 3 of us were already nearly sinking the little boat... we couldn't move around enough to get the mud off before we got in. Picture me in a white shirt & hat & pure mud legs.

So off we go... muddy, trying to maneuver this really tiny boat with homemade oars... & no surprise... we've got an audience. Huge audience... both sides of the river... & it's as if word of mouth is spreading faster than we're moving... everyone's come to see these crazy muddy white people in this really tiny little boat with these silly useless oars.

As the crowd builds, people start yelling things at us. In Thai. None of us speak Thai. So we do the tourist thing & smile & wave... Then a lady yells in English, "Don't go!! Too dangerous!!" So the other girl in our little boat, being the smartest, makes maneuver our little boat to talk to the lady. And after we talk to her, the other girl is not going any further... honestly, I'd have gone but I was just as happy to stop... & in retrospect, I never did see any locales in the river without a motor.

The lady that warned us invites us up to her house for drinks... & there's this cute homemade bamboo balcony that sits above the river... very picturesque... & she serves us homemade rice liquor. I swear it was mixed with red Kool-Aid... & it was good...& she keeps pouring more & the crazy guy's telling us to drink up so we'll keep going down the river... I'm just hoping it'll give me enough courage to stay on the bamboo balcony that is starting to slowly break as the 3 of us, this lady, her boyfriend & brother sit & talk.

Not long after we're there, another guy from our hotel who'd brought his own kayak from Sweden comes to check on us & joins us...

We're all laughing & having a great time... the Thai lady who invited us is actually from Bangkok, 30yrs old, speaks perfect English & has the best sense of humor... & she keeps pouring more & more rice liquor Kool-Aid, which apparently is illegal. And she invites us for dinner.

We agree to take the boat back, wash the mud off & walk back to her house. But before we leave, the Swede insists on walking back to the hotel so he knows how to find our way back later... but he does so in only his bathing suit!! So this 6'4" pale white guy in just red shorts & my white hat, walks up & down the streets drawing his own audience...& we're all rolling on the floor laughing!

As a parting gift, one of the Thais gives us a bamboo pole to push on the bottom of the river -- like we were supposed to. Well the crazy guy can't get the swing of it... I'd wish he'd have let me try... so he's in the back doing the pole & the girl & I each have a homemade bamboo oar. And it looks like it'll take us 5hrs to get to the hotel... we're barely able to fight the current. I'm working so hard at paddling that apparently I'm tossing tons of water into the back of the boat & the crazy guy's also letting water get in & all of a sudden we sink!!! And it didn't pop back up!!

Now I'm standing in the boat, which is on the bottom of the river, holding the stuff I brought & kind of dumb struck when out of nowhere 2 Thai guys jump in to help. And one is bound & determined to save my life! But I don't need saving... the current's not THAT strong. The other Thai pulls the boat up & empties the water & I'm holding my hands out trying to get back to the boat but my Thai savior won't let go of me! Several times I try to pull away & he just wouldn't let me go! You'd have thought the crazy guy with his own machete would've saved us, but we spot him with his stuff halfway up the river bank! And the Swede... he's laughing the whole time!

We don't even get back in the boat. We walk in the water pulling & pushing the boat back. It looked like a movie scene. Except for the crowd which is back... & their friends... plus now all the hotel guests who are watching in amazement.

The other girl had enough of us & splits but the guys & I shower & head back to the Thai lady's house & just have a fantastic time talking, drinking, smoking & eating way too much delicious food! Now that is why I love to travel!